I lied.

I don't usually write serious blogs but tonight I'm in more of a serious mood. If you're looking for funny, move along and I promise that the next one will be more witty and humorous.

There was a kid in last semester's performing arts school, we'll call him Scott, who was constantly grumpy. I don't mean typical 11 year-old grumpy, but "something is clearly wrong at home" grumpy. He was reserved and he never wanted to participate and he always found some weird way of disrupting like answering questions with random phrases ("Who call tell me where stage left is?" "Ribbit!") or distracting the instructor by finding new ways to play with random objects during class time. During the end-of-semester showcase, he played Danny from Grease and he was actually quite good- he fit the character, he was very into the part, and he sang very well. He didn't seem to enjoy it overall, so we figured it was something his parents made him try and he wouldn't be back.


Needless to say, we were surprised when he signed up again this semester. When his class started, he was his usual Scott self, barely paying attention, concentrating more on balling up a piece of paper than what was actually going on in class, and being standoffish and cold to the other kids. And then, when we got the kids in a large circle to warm them up and as my boss is giving them instructions, he says, "My mom has no hair!"

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that his mother has cancer of some kind and is going through chemo. So, quietly so that the rest of the class could continue to get into their circle (which, believe it or not, takes about 60-80 seconds for 9-12 year olds), I say, "My mom lost her hair, but it grew back."

Scott: "Why did your mother loose her hair?"

Me: "She had breast cancer and her chemo treatment made her loose her hair."

Scott: "Yeah, my mom, too...the chemo makes her sick."

Me: "Yeah, my mom, too. But she got better and her hair grew back and I'm sure your mom's will, too."

Now, I do feel bad because while my mother did have breast cancer and she did go through chemo that did make her sick, she didn't loose her hair. And at first, I felt really guilty about lying to him and telling him something that wasn't true, but I talked to Sputz last night and she assured me that this wasn't a bad lie. It wasn't as though I were making up my mother's entire health history and it was obvious to me that Scott really needed someone to know what he was going through and he wasn't screaming out that his mother had no hair because he was excited about it. He spent the rest of class standing next to me and being more clingy than we've ever seen him before.

We knew last semester that his mother was sick because she missed his final performance; she had to go into the hospital the night before. This is too much for an 11 year old to deal with. I was 21 when my mother was diagnosed and it's still sometimes too much for me to deal with, but 11? His childhood is slowly being ripped away from him. And he is the oldest of 4 children, so he is playing the big brother (again, something I understand a little too well) and trying to keep it all together.

Later, we were playing one of the many theater name games while standing in a circle and holding hands and I called out my name. He looked at me and said "Your name is Sharon? That's my mother's name." I squeezed his hand and replied, "It's a good name."

Cancer is just not fair.