Pet Peeves

Everyone has them. Everyone tries really hard not to have them, but let's face it: there are just certain things other people do that make you want to magically call a falling piano to drop on their head so that you will never have to deal with their mere stupidity again.

Now, the thing is, generally I'm a chill person who doesn't get hung up on stupid things like this, but here is a small list of things I will never, EVER be okay with:

1. In professional emails (like, any email that is going to contacts outside of your office or business-related in-office emails) should not have the following phrases: lol, omg, ttyl, hotness, or any sort of emoticon (:-), :-(, etc.) especially when going to multiple people. I just think that the following email is somewhat outrageous:

Hey everyone,

The new coffee machine is hotness and I just wanted to collect $1 from everyone so that we can buy the new coffee that is required to use with it lol. If there are any coffee flavors you don't like, just let me know :-) Also, there are extra copies of directions on how to use it by the fax machine hehe. Omg, and in case I forget to tell you in person, we finally got a shipment of paperclips in! Woo-hoo!

Granted, this email wasn't from my office, which I'm super grateful for. But I do feel really bad for Mr. Watermelon whose office is apparently constantly sending things like that to each other. It's like he's working with 16 year old girls.

And speaking of which...

2) Girls who insist that they are absolutely helpless without a guy to do something for them. While I do understand that biologically the male form is built to be stronger than the female form (if you want to argue this point with me, call me and I will be glad to tell you why you're wrong you silly womyn...womyne? What WOULD be the plural?) there is no reason to stand helplessly at a curb batting your eyes at strangers while holding on tightly to a large suitcase. I witnessed this very thing this afternoon at the train station. This girl lugged the suitcase to the front of the station (all the while making a big production out of it and periodically stopping to look to see who was paying attention) and then immediately put on her best "boo, I may cry at any given moment" face. When a guy finally asked her if she needed help, she tilted her head to one side and looked at the ground and said, "oh, I feel bad asking." This makes me hate having a vagina.

3) Hairdressers who don't quite listen to you as you get your hair cut. Granted, I had an unusual hair cutting experience in and of itself (which I'll be posting about sometime later, I'm sure) but this woman just kept talking and talking and suddenly my bangs were...short. I've had bangs on and off for the past two years or so, but...well...I'm pretty sure that Punky Brewster bangs went out when the show was canceled in 1988...which is about the last time I sported bangs like this. I was 5.

4) Cookie and Candy. No, not the sweets. The stage mothers who are friends and who are seriously named Cookie and Candy. Candy has taken to waiting for me outside work in the morning so that as I walk in I have no choice but to talk to her. I've actually taken to pretending to be on my cell phone to look extra busy.

5) People who move my bookmarks. I may not be reading the book currently, but there's a reason the marker is at the page it's at. I haven't yet moved all of my books to my new place yet and my mom found a pile of books and as she was cleaning. She informed me that she found a bunch of great bookmarks in my books and started a collection. *sigh*

Ok, that's all for tonight. I'm tired and it was a really ridiculous day and I have to figure out how to make my hair look not insane.