Okay, I did it last year, so here we go...
January: Started with a bang down in D.C. with The Sputz and The Honorary Sputz but I was miserable at my job and utterly unhappy commuting. Confused as all hell about my love life.
February: Totally did the best mock-phone-call of my life (ask for details), still confused, growing more miserable at work. Also, spent Valentine's Day with Dr. Athanasian, my hand specialist, because I had broken my wrist and the 14th was the first available appointment he had. Stupid wrist breaking. And yes, I did say that I have my own hand specialist. What? You don't? You're clearly not all the klutz you can be.
March: I got my first phone interview with a real publisher! Finally quit my job, visited The Thespian for the first time with The Dancer in Virginia, highlighted my hair with 3 different shades.
April: Started to freak out about not having a job, writing uncontrollably, went to visit the Bingers for my bday!
May: Signed up for a temp agency position and was convinced that no one was going to hire me ever and that I was destined to live in my room in my parents' house until I turned 30 or until my father could pay a man to marry me. Or give him a cow. Whatever it is those desperate Jewish fathers do.
June: I got a job that I love! The Dancer graduated and I was in a car accident on the way to her ceremony, then she was in the Miss Sparta pageant. I stripped the dye out of my hair (hello, grays!) and sat down and made a bunch of career goals for myself.
July: Crappy ass month. Nothing good happened here. Oh, well, The Thespian turned 21 so I could stop sneaking him sips of alcohol when he was home, but other than that, NOTHING good happened. Spent a lot of time at various doctor appointments and at work.
August: Continued crappiness, but began picking up a bit. Went to a Mets game with the whole family for the first time since before I could drive. Also, somehow ended up in the same restaurant my grandfather always took us to, even though the place had new owners and was made over and renamed. Crrrreeeepy!
September: Began assisting classes at work. This will also be the month forever nicknamed "the month of the bad date." It started mid-month though, so it carried over into October. And oh, it was bad. Funny as hell, but bad.
October: The Baker/Painter got married! Angy Squirrel and I snuck out of the office to witness! I reconnected with The Hippie after, like, 10 years. I went down to D.C. again and got in another car accident on my way down there. And I dressed up as Maid Marion for Halloween and handed out stuff to kiddies trick-or-treating by the theatre. Also, talked to The Chameleon for the first time in almost 3 months.
November: The theatre's season officially opened and there was much drinking at the pub. The Baker/Painter moved away with The Canadian and we were all sad. I had the most ridiculously huge Thanksgiving in the history of Thanksgiving. I slept on The Dancer's floor.
December: The first semester of classes came to a close and I was really glad since I am utterly exhausted. Waiting to get my car fixed so I'm driving around with what I will call a "dimple" on the front bumper. OOOOOH! AND I moved out! I am now an official adult living on my own. Sort of. I'll post pictures of the new place when I can find my camera.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
I'm a bad girl
No, not a dirty girl who needs to be punished, you perv. I mean I'm actually bad at being female. It's like every other girl took this course in being a girl and I somehow got my transcripts all messed up and I ended up taking something incredibly not useful like Perpetually Distracted and Somewhat Disoriented 101. It's not that I'm good at being male either, so I'm just sort of in this obnoxious in-between genders place. Omni-gendered if you will. I'd say androgynous but that's not quite right either.
Part of it is that I'm just not comfortable being the damsel in distress a lot of the time. It takes a lot for me to open up to people so being that vulnerable and needing someone else's help in a big way is scarier than the thing causing the need for help. So, instead of just asking for help or letting people do things for me, I tend to go out of my way to NOT let people do things for me. For example, when I twisted my knee horribly out of whack and was walking around in a hip-to-ankle brace, I wouldn't let Sputz make me dinner because I was frustrated with myself for not being physically able to do normal things.
The other part of it is that I was always somewhat of a tomboy so being treated uber girly isn't quite comfortable for me. I mean, neither is being treated like I'm the guy in the relationship. I guess that's part of why I'm so pro-equalness, especially because I don't want to be stuck in one positon or another.
I'm sure my dating history plays a major part in it as well. It's funny because I had a very long and strange conversation with my ex whom I will fondly refer to as The Moron (he knows why and has agreed to let me refer to him as such...and by "agreed" I mean that the alternative name he gave me to use was Mr. Big Boy and I refuse to use that) and he was saying that the person I am now isn't the person I was at all when we dated. It was actually really good because it sort of reminded me of who I want to become again because I know I've lost some innocence and have become very cynical over the years. The thing that struck me the most was that he said that I hadn't lost my silliness or child-like wonder for some things. In fact, here were his exact words (yay aim): "It's funny because no matter how old you get, you still look at life the same way you always did, like at first it just amazes you and then you slowly disect it and understand it and by the time you're done you can fully analyze it better than most. I guess that's why you're a poet."
It was also good to talk to him because, when I dated him, a lot of life hadn't happened yet and it was interesting to see what his perspective of me was then and what it is now.
It's been a good month for other people's perspective of me, really. I mean, I've sort of had the opportunity to see myself through other people's eyes more in recent times than ever before. In fact, Dr. V. made me a WeeMee, thus, according to her, if I were a cartoon, this is what I would look like:
Probably pretty accurate, especially the wearing black combined with long bangs falling in my eyes. At least I'm consistent, I suppose. Although now I am considering a dramatic haircut. Maybe something a bit more punky? Not in a Punky Brewster way, just a punk way. I don't want to dye it because I finally got all of the hair dye of the past 7 years out of my hair. Maybe I'll just get a piercing.
Part of it is that I'm just not comfortable being the damsel in distress a lot of the time. It takes a lot for me to open up to people so being that vulnerable and needing someone else's help in a big way is scarier than the thing causing the need for help. So, instead of just asking for help or letting people do things for me, I tend to go out of my way to NOT let people do things for me. For example, when I twisted my knee horribly out of whack and was walking around in a hip-to-ankle brace, I wouldn't let Sputz make me dinner because I was frustrated with myself for not being physically able to do normal things.
The other part of it is that I was always somewhat of a tomboy so being treated uber girly isn't quite comfortable for me. I mean, neither is being treated like I'm the guy in the relationship. I guess that's part of why I'm so pro-equalness, especially because I don't want to be stuck in one positon or another.
I'm sure my dating history plays a major part in it as well. It's funny because I had a very long and strange conversation with my ex whom I will fondly refer to as The Moron (he knows why and has agreed to let me refer to him as such...and by "agreed" I mean that the alternative name he gave me to use was Mr. Big Boy and I refuse to use that) and he was saying that the person I am now isn't the person I was at all when we dated. It was actually really good because it sort of reminded me of who I want to become again because I know I've lost some innocence and have become very cynical over the years. The thing that struck me the most was that he said that I hadn't lost my silliness or child-like wonder for some things. In fact, here were his exact words (yay aim): "It's funny because no matter how old you get, you still look at life the same way you always did, like at first it just amazes you and then you slowly disect it and understand it and by the time you're done you can fully analyze it better than most. I guess that's why you're a poet."
It was also good to talk to him because, when I dated him, a lot of life hadn't happened yet and it was interesting to see what his perspective of me was then and what it is now.
It's been a good month for other people's perspective of me, really. I mean, I've sort of had the opportunity to see myself through other people's eyes more in recent times than ever before. In fact, Dr. V. made me a WeeMee, thus, according to her, if I were a cartoon, this is what I would look like:
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